Ziarul serii

​Anytime we talk about finding love, some of the most common first words are “yes, but you can’t expect to find love in _____ (the club, your friend group etc). To be clear from the start, I mean romantic love. I would say ok, maybe the sex chamber of a club isn’t the place where one does their vows, but I do wonder where is the right place. 

I often wonder if my thoughts are idiotically simple, thoughts all of us have, but I still haven’t found an answer. Maybe I’m just asking if God is real in a philosophy class, I don’t know. 

Now, to get back to my subject, I do wonder where you can “find it”. Where you can find love and connection that isn’t just a compromise of an outweighed balance of things we choose to ignore, where you can find the place and time when it’s right to be honest. It seems like nobody is ready to be ready, nobody comes across the right people, and maybe by nobody I do refer to me, but it’s ok because I just see myself as a subject. 

I’ve wondered to all the places you could think of, but none of them were right. Was it easier before we could just wonder digitally, were people a couple of years before just closing their eyes and stuffing their ears a bit more? 

High standards shouldn’t be seen necessarily as unrealistic and unreasonable, there should not be something wrong with wanting to be around someone who makes you feel safe, and after you learn what safety is, comfortable too. 

It surprises me that in the general consciousness we decided that we cannot decide on who we have in our lives. Why have we made the bar go that low that you can’t even limbo under it, why do we prefer to step on it? We are so used to welcoming so many “potentials” in our lives due to social media, performative social relationships and so on, and we decide that we are also going to make it so hard for them to leave our lives? 

When there is no right time and place, and everything when it comes to love is just a series of very fortunate events as tales say, maybe it will soon start raining men! Maybe a bit of a more unfortunate event that would be.

Now, I’ll keep wondering ‘cause it seems like it comes with breathing to me. I like writing things somewhere where it feels private but it absolutely is not, it’s so modern! I, once again, wonder who comes across these:) maybe they will wonder too.